The Heart Shed for Mothers

There is a place we don't get to go to soothe our own Hearts, so I am inviting you in.

Take my Paw and let me lead you

This is where I always start because that’s where the load lies.

There is a Parentbuddy link at the bottom that includes the fathers

I sign off on my emails as Mammabear

I have worn purple furry suits.

People do not understand why I am Half woman and Half bear.

I don't care; I am not pissed about that in any way. I revel in it and i shake my ass against a tree to scratch it daily

Like me, many of us grew up without the protection or guidance we needed.

When we felt big feelings or strong energy rising, it wasn’t explained, the grief was real but It was just called too much, chaotic and it was shut down. I watched my father who abandoned me after my mother died go make a new family while I rotted in a children home then spent later years through the foster system and back to a children's home again.

Sometimes it sets the tone for familiar partners who are chosen and later become fathers to our children.

Your nervous system remembers and the brain will take what is familiar over something new even if its shit

So when I became a mother, I had to find protection, for me and them far too many times.

When we feel threatened, stressed, or sense our children are vulnerable, our system has no neutral gear, It jumps straight from holding it all in to release. There is no smooth transition and that is what may cause challenges in relationships currently, or why you leave them.

As adults, we naturally want to be the safe, nurturing presence we never had.We show up as gentle, loving, and patient, that is our heart leading the way, but underneath, our nervous system still works with the wiring it learned back then, and we will reject partners or parents and that's ok

(When it’s not okay for your child will be in another post)

So instead of sending any energy to Fathers, we as Mothers need to keep that and use it for strength. Even a thought or a word towards then depletes yours.

This is what makes you a Mammabear

You are not two different people; you are one whole person learning to hold your power.

The soft, loving side is your desire to protect, nurture, and give safety.

The fierce, sudden protective side is sometimes the only way your body knows how to keep you and yours safe, because it never learned a gentler way to use that strength or had a father or partner to do that for you

People will see whichever part shows up: some will call you calm, safe, and kind; others, if they catch you in that moment of release, will say you are intense, chaotic, or overreacting. But neither label tells the full story.

It is not your character; it is the state of your nervous system and the way your energy has been stored until now.

This journey led me to everything I do now. It connects directly to the ancient story of the bear, to how our nervous systems work, and to why LavenderBuddy was created.

Power itself is never good or bad, it only becomes safe or overwhelming depending on whether we have learned how to filter, contain, and guide it.

Even with a good childhood we can encounter relationships that bring us into this place too.

What looks like chaos is often just energy that has never been given the space or support to settle.

But it is in every one of us, Male and Female

Its Natural to Protect and Survive, no one will be apologising for that over here

My work is to help children and parents understand this, we do not have to choose between being gentle and being strong.

We can learn to bind our energy, find our flow, and hold our power safely — just as the bear does when it rests, renews, and stands guard.

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